Obviously it is that time again and in order to help the uninitiated to understand this global festival of football I thought I would pen a few little pointers to aid your viewing pleasure:
Imagine you are in a packed pub with a queue at the bar. You are standing behind a tall lad at the front when you realise you don't have your wallet. In desperation you call out to your mate who is standing 3 or 4 people further back. He agrees he will chuck you his wallet to get the drinks in. Now there are a few people in between you and him so you know he is going to have to lob this one quite high. To make sure you get it he throws it long into space so you dash in front of the tall lad at the front to grab it. Great, now you can get the drinks in.......only, no you can't because you pushed in front of the person at the front of the queue.
Right - that's offside explained.
No, he's not really hurt, he's Argentinian and the rolling around is a cultural thing.
The Koreans are invited because we like to laugh at commentators attempts to say their names
We don't actually WANT a penalty shoot-out, it just happens.
When they look for penalty takers, its not just 'bottle' we need but the ability to kick a ball. Ledley, sit down...