1966 and all that......

Had a very football-centric weekend. Now as you know I love football (however I haven't yet stooped wear the face paint or to put Engerland flags on the motor) but at one point I could have given up watching the game altogether.

It wasn't the much discussed incident on Saturday night when Robert Green stooped to save a worm that the big nasty ball was about to squash, although that was a pretty incredulous moment, watched by the Cheese family amidst the noisy surroundings of the scout hall, generously hosted by the coaches of young Mr Cheese's football team.

Neither was it the diet of back to back games over the weekend coupled with fantasy football talk and wallchart filling-in as football crazy Uncle C came to stay.

No. It came as I watched a 6-a side football tournament on Sunday as young Mr C's team took on superior opposition in an all-comers competition in town. I vaguely recall a faint cry of 'heads' as a vigourous 30 yard shot on the pitch behind me flew over the crossbar and hit me square in the back of the head!

I managed to maintain my composure and not fall to my knees but the force of the shot was up in the 'did you spill my pint' stakes. The ringing in my ears stopped fairly soon, but gradually a stiffening of neck muscles occurred and I realised as I tried to get out of bed on Monday morning that I had probably undergone whiplash.

Fortunately a breakfast of ibuprofen seems to have done the trick and no lasting damage other than a slightly stiff neck. I know there has been a huge debate in the World Cup about the newly designed Jabulani ball, but I think that the media focus needs to be on the under-11 game and the new concrete ball they are using.

World cup ......

Obviously it is that time again and in order to help the uninitiated to understand this global festival of football I thought I would pen a few little pointers to aid your viewing pleasure:

Imagine you are in a packed pub with a queue at the bar. You are standing behind a tall lad at the front when you realise you don't have your wallet. In desperation you call out to your mate who is standing 3 or 4 people further back. He agrees he will chuck you his wallet to get the drinks in. Now there are a few people in between you and him so you know he is going to have to lob this one quite high. To make sure you get it he throws it long into space so you dash in front of the tall lad at the front to grab it. Great, now you can get the drinks in.......only, no you can't because you pushed in front of the person at the front of the queue.
Right - that's offside explained.

No, he's not really hurt, he's Argentinian and the rolling around is a cultural thing.

The Koreans are invited because we like to laugh at commentators attempts to say their names

We don't actually WANT a penalty shoot-out, it just happens.

When they look for penalty takers, its not just 'bottle' we need but the ability to kick a ball. Ledley, sit down...

Rye smile...

Out of hospital mid-week, Mrs C and I decided that we needed to get away from it all and our lovely friend Mrs B of Bromley offered us the use of her holiday house in Rye, Sussex.

So we have just had a very nice few days down there, staying in her lovely cottage right in the middle of town. For those that haven't visited before, Rye is one of those historic little port towns that were probably one of the 'major conurbations' of the 17th century. Unfortunately a receding sea put paid to any growth plans which is good news for us today. The walled town is a maze of cobbled alleyways and gardens, with medieval meets georgian buildings and enough olde worlde sweete shoppes to keep our 2 happy.

Look carefully - you can see Sarah Jessica Parker.

We managed to time this with a period of fantastic weather so that it felt like a mini holiday. We had a great afternoon on the beach at Camber and a day at Hastings where we met our good friend Andrew who has a fantastic wholefood cafe http://www.landofgreenginger.org/. 

Hastings view...

It has been a few years since I have been to Hastings but I have to say it is a great little town. There are a number of good independent shops, lifestyle, antiques, knicks, knacks etc. The kids loved the fishing museum (how did they get that boat in there) and also the seafront funfair which was surprisingly inexpensive. Wish I could say the same about the Crazy Golf, but it did have talking totem poles that squirted you after insulting your putting ability. Sure, it is tattoo and chips but I like the honesty of the place. It was swarming with French tourists and school children too - perhaps checking out what their Norman cousins have done with the place.

So thanks Mrs B - we had a great time and Mrs C is feeling a good deal better. We didn't trash your beautiful cottage too much and we hope we have managed to put all your knicks and knacks back in the right places.